Most of us have told a lie before. People lie for various reasons—to save someone’s feelings, to dodge an unwanted social gathering, or to make others feel better. But is it possible that lying could save you from becoming prey for a predator?
While lying goes against the basic morals we were taught… in a dangerous situation, anything goes. Here’s how you can use a white lie to turn the tables!
Which Types of Lies Could Save Your Life?
When the stakes are high, a well-placed lie can help you escape a dangerous or escalating situation. There are several different kinds of situations that may warrant a lie, but here are a few examples…
Lying Can Save You If…
- You’re lying about your personal information: If someone asks you where you live or your name or phone number, lie to them! You do not need to feel guilty on this one, it could prevent you from becoming a victim.
- You’re lying to get away from an abuser in a domestic violence situation: For example: you could lie and say you need to go to the store/doctor/work—then go to the local police station.
- You’re lying to avoid helping someone: This will be hard for most of us, but many dangerous people have used empathy to gain access to their victims (see Ted Bundy). If someone asks you for help, lie and say “I’m late for work, sorry!”. Or use another line that makes sense at the time. Asking for help can be a way for someone to isolate and abduct you, even in broad daylight.
- You’re lying to avoid being bothered in public: “I am meeting my boyfriend/girlfriend here”. This will stop most people from bothering you. If this doesn’t deter them, and you’re at a bar or restaurant, ask the staff for help by requesting an angel shot.
- You’re lying to hide your haven: If a cab or Uber driver asks if he is dropping you off where you live—”No, this is my parent/boyfriend/friend’s place”. This will likely discourage him or her from coming back for you later.
- You’re lying to avoid rape: I once read a book on rape self-defense when I was a teenager (which I would plug if I could remember the name—it was excellent). The author suggested saying you have an STD or are pregnant to avoid being raped. This could elicit a fearful or empathic response. But keep in mind that rapists rape for different reasons. Meaning, if this rapist is looking for power or a rush, this approach may not work. And yes, there have been cases where women have talked themselves out of rape by just talking to the rapist. Anything is worth a try in this situation…
Dannah Eve: Lie to Survive
Dannah Eve, a criminologist and content creator has an amazing personal safety platform where she discusses these types of lies and how they can save you. She (like myself) was taught to lie for safety reasons at a very young age. Sadly many women have learned this trick the hard way. Avoid becoming a victim by turning the tables—they’re likely lying to you about needing help or their intentions. Tit for tat! 😉
Why Lying Works
Lying to avoid a dangerous situation or escape an escalating conflict is especially easy if you do not know the person you’re dealing with.
If they don’t know you, they likely won’t be able to tell that you’re not being truthful. And while you may feel bad about the lie, especially in cases where someone is asking you for a favor—it’s better to be safe than sorry!
“Lie to survive,” as Dannah calls it, is a valuable tool in your personal safety toolkit. While it may feel wrong to lie as it goes against everything we have been taught, the alternative is much more uncomfortable.
At the end of the day, personal safety is about staying alert, trusting your instincts, and being prepared to act—even if that means bending the truth. Your safety is more important than politeness or honesty in the moment. A white lie can be a powerful tool to create space, buy time, or signal that something’s not right. The goal isn’t to deceive—it’s to survive. And in a world where too many predators rely on hesitation, using your voice (or a quick fib) can help you take back control.
Remember, if the lie doesn’t seem to work, ask for outside help. Whether it’s an app like bSafe, calling on a fellow woman for backup, or a staff member.
Lying to survive is a free and easy way to avoid becoming a target, and show a predator that you’re not easy prey. You will put up a fight—and words are just the beginning.
Be aware, and stay safe!
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