An abduction may seem like an event that only takes place in movies, but it can also happen in real life. In fact, an average of thirty-three children are taken by a stranger every day. And this statistic doesn’t include adult kidnappings.
Abduction is a real fear for people. If you’re on TikTok, you have probably seen countless stories of sketchy situations that are taking place in mundane places. Sadly, the stories of women and men reporting attempted kidnappings and assaults are abundant. Luckily, if you want to learn how you can safeguard yourself and your loved ones from an abduction—you’re in the right place…
The Story of My Attempted Abduction and What I Learned From It
When I was in my early 20s, my friends and I went away for a weekend to stay at a motel in a nearby city. We were having some drinks, and I decided to get a pack of cigarettes at the corner store. It was nearby, but no one would go with me (not even my boyfriend at the time, typical of him), so I walked there alone.
On my way back to the motel, a man pulled over in a brand-new Mercedes. Now this was broad daylight and I didn’t know this man, so I assumed he had mistaken me for someone else or needed directions.
He tried to convince me to get into his car, and when I resisted, he attempted to grab me. The man (who was large by the way) called me a bitch and told me to get into the car. However, I was athletic at the time, and it saved me.
I ran as fast as I could to the motel. I was lucky to get away, and I’m probably lucky to be alive.
When I returned to the motel and told everyone what happened, they laughed and continued partying. We never called the cops, they downplayed it—so I did too. One of many mistakes I made that day…
What Did I Do Wrong?
Unfortunately, I have to victim-blame myself. I made some wrong moves here, which could’ve cost my life. So what did I do wrong that opened me up to danger?
- I went out alone
- I ventured out not only alone but mildly intoxicated
- Exploring a city I didn’t know—again alone
- When the man approached, I didn’t run
- Not only did I not run, I also engaged with him
- I didn’t call the police
But I got away. I do believe that he was going to kidnap and either assault me, or he was a pimp looking for a new girl. Sometimes I wonder where I would be if he had succeeded in abducting me. This is one of the key moments in my life that resulted in the creation of Personal Safety School. I don’t want anyone to go through what I did— or worse.
Therefore, you should learn from my mistakes.
Recognizing the Signs of a Possible Abduction
To know how to prevent an event, you need to know what to look out for. These signs can also be indicative of a possible robbery or assault, but keeping you safe via education is the goal! Be sure to share these signs with your little ones. Tell them that stalking and abduction are rare, and that you don’t want to scare them, but they need to know this info!
Signs Someone Is Following You
- Instinct: You feel it. You can feel someone’s eyes on you. I feel this often living out in the country, and sure enough, I am almost always in the sight of a chipmunk or squirrel. If you feel like someone is watching you, take a look around. Be aware of the people around you.
- The constant presence of the same person. Everywhere you go, there they are. If you keep seeing this person everywhere you go: it’s not a coincidence.
- A stranger approaching you quickly and with intent
- Weird behaviors, the person is looking at you and checking their phone or acting nervous. They may be on the phone and not taking their eyes off of you.
- You can hear footsteps trailing you. When you stop—they stop.
- You take different routes, change up your routine, and they’re still there.
If you are aware of your surroundings and distracted, there’s a good chance you will spot an abduction before it happens.
Situations & Signs When Abduction Is Possible
- Sob stories that require your help. A woman may approach you asking for help carrying something to her car. A child may ask you for help finding her mother or a lost pet. A man may ask you to look under his car for something he lost. Consequently, these stories almost always require you to go to a second location— don’t go.
- Fake smiles when communicating the need for help. Their lips are smiling, but their eyes aren’t.
- The perp may insist on meeting for a date or job interview in an isolated area or at their home.
- Ads or job offers for modeling and acting. Undoubtedly, these should be investigated fully before you attend, and you should never go alone.
- Someone continues to follow or bother you when you have told them to stop. Typically, pushing these boundaries is always a bad sign. This includes someone asking you to help them relentlessly.
- The offering of free drinks or drugs. Be wary of anyone who is freely handing substances out.
- Vehicles pulling up next to you or following you as you walk.
- Any situations that require you to go somewhere private and isolated.
- Attempts to strip you of your phone or any safety devices.
Preventing Abduction: Children, Teenagers, and Adults
Unfortunately, children, teenagers, and adults have been victims of kidnappings in the past. There are a few ways to prevent this from happening to someone you care about. However, your best protection against abduction is knowing the above signs and situations. Consequently, when it comes to personal safety, knowledge is power.
Some of these tips may seem extreme, but in these times they’re necessary. Lately, with the high prices of necessities and commodities, crime has increased. Unfortunately, this includes abductions and trafficking—and anyone can be a victim.
If something ever feels off, having a way to share your location instantly can give you a huge safety advantage, especially if you’re alone or in an unfamiliar place.
Apple AirTag – ★★★★☆ 4.7/5
A small tracking device that lets you share your location through Apple’s Find My network. It can be placed in a bag, clipped to keys, or carried discreetly, making it useful for keeping track of belongings or sharing your location with trusted contacts. Simple to set up and easy to use, it adds an extra layer of awareness and peace of mind.
Child Abduction Prevention Tips for Parents
- Talk to your little ones about personal safety
- Ensure that your child knows all of your contact information and emergency numbers. Of course, this includes knowing how to call 911.
- Make sure your child knows where the police station and other safe areas in your neighborhood are.
- Teach your child to always check with you before they go with anyone
- Have a safe word (this is a great tip from the 90s). A safe word is a word only you and your child know. If someone is to have guardianship of your child, they have to know this word too. Make it complicated and not easy to guess.
- Never allow a child to walk alone
- Encourage your child to carry a personal safety device
- Know where your child is and who they’re with at all times
- Use an AirTag or GPS to track your child.
- Encourage group activities. Does your daughter want to shoot hoops? Tell her she can only go if her brother goes too.
- Tell them to avoid shortcuts while walking and only walk in public areas.
More Child Safety Tips
- Don’t allow their school to post their photos on social media, and you should do the same. Sharenting is opening your child up to danger.
- Tell your child to never share personal information with strangers or anyone outside of their circle.
- Be aware of who is taking an interest in your child. Groomers work fast, and they’re sneaky. If an adult wants to spend time alone with your child, this is a red flag.
- Practice stranger danger drills. You play the role of the stranger and act out some scenarios. This is a good way to give your child confidence in a potentially dangerous situation.
- Talk to your child about the ruses that an abductor may use. Tell them they should never go anywhere alone with anyone they don’t know well, even another child. No matter how much they beg for help.
Teenager Abduction Prevention Tips
- Keep the lines of communication open with your parents. Let them know where you will be, what you’re doing, and who you’ll be with.
- Carry your phone on you at all times and a personal safety device.
- Don’t use your phone or headphones when walking alone. This is a distraction that will be obvious to a predator.
- Parents and teens should have check-in times. These are the times that you call home and tell your parent or guardian where you are and what you’re doing.
- Download an app like bSafe. Fortunately, these apps have safety features that are useful for anyone who walks alone.
- Avoid posting your location on social media.
- Lock down your privacy settings on social media. Unfortunately, many criminals troll socials for information, so keep your school, home address, phone number, and other personal information private.
Teenager Safety—Out and About
- Go out in a group and stay with your group. Remember, no “man” is left behind!
- Never get into a car with someone you don’t know.
- Be aware of your surroundings
- Don’t talk to people you don’t know
- Equally important, if someone makes you uncomfortable, get away from them.
- Don’t worry about being in trouble, if you need to be picked up—call your parents. Any grounding you get will be better than you being in danger.
- Avoid anything that impairs your judgment: drugs, alcohol, synthetic pot. It may seem like a good idea at the time, but using these substances will eventually come with a price.
- Tell someone if an adult is being too friendly, telling you you’re mature for your age, or asking you to keep secrets. Although this may make you feel special, this is a red flag of grooming behavior. Tell a trusted adult about these types of interactions.
- Typically, nothing good comes for free. If you’re offered anything by someone you don’t know (food, drink)—decline this offer.
Adult Abduction Prevention Tips
- If you’re going out, tell someone trusted where you are going and who you will be with.
- Trust your gut: if something or someone doesn’t feel safe, it’s probably not.
- Limit the information you share on social media.
- Never get into a car with someone you don’t know.
- Do not meet someone online and go with them to a private location. Typically, people with nefarious intent will try to get you alone.
- If you answer any ads for jobs or to buy or sell items, bring someone with you. Never go alone.
- If you are alone with a stranger, find a way to leave.
- Avoid helping people who ask for assistance. Yes, even a child can be used as bait by traffickers. Therefore, being safe means abandoning the “be nice” rhetoric we were taught as children.
- Stay sober and aware. Unfortunately, as fun as alcohol can be, it impairs us and screws with our inhibitions. Therefore, it can lead to us being in bad situations with bad people.
- When walking through crowds with a drink, cover it. Don’t accept drinks from strangers, and don’t leave your drink unattended.
Adult Safety—Out and at Home
- Know the area you’re traveling in, especially if you’re alone. If you’re alone in a new city, frequent busy areas and don’t engage with strangers.
- If someone is parked next to you in a van in a parking lot, enter your vehicle through the passenger door. This will prevent the person from being able to grab you.
- When you get into your car, lock your doors.
- Don’t doddle in a parking lot—lock your doors and drive away carefully.
- If someone is following you, go to the nearest police station or busy area. Don’t be afraid to make a commotion about it.
- Do not answer the door for people you don’t know.
- Ask for identification if someone comes to your door to fix something or sell something. Call the company or person who sent them to be sure they are who they say they are.
Prevent Abduction Through Awareness
Typically, the less we know about an event or situation, the less prepared we are to deal with it. Unfortunately, abductions happen every day to normal people. Knowing the signs of kidnappings, the devices available to keep you safe, and which situations to avoid are the best ways to protect yourself. Additionally, educating your children and teens about these situations and how to handle them will prepare them just in case.
One of the biggest mistakes people make is assuming they’d know if trafficking or grooming was happening nearby. But trafficking doesn’t always look like what you see in movies. In fact, many people ignore real red flags because they’ve believed the wrong things. Learn more in our guide: Human Trafficking Myths: 7 Beliefs Putting Victims at Risk. It breaks down the most common misconceptions—and how they put real victims in danger.
Many of us like to stay ignorant and blissfully unaware of the dark parts of our society. Sadly, this is the worst way to deal with the evil in this world. In conclusion, thinking that something can’t happen to you is naive. However, true bravery is knowing the dangers and preparing for them.
Be aware, and stay safe!
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